What Are The Biggest Red Flags In Dating?
By
Jane Shaw
Senior Editor Updated: 10/09/2023
We count on Jane to inform our readers about the latest slot games in the US market. With her passion for video games and a degree in engineering, she’s our gambling tech expert. Jane’s also active in our blog section, where she tackles the curiosities and changes in the industry.
Ever wonder what signs to look out for in the dating world? Explore some of the most interesting and quirky red flags when it comes to dating in 2023
With the rise of dating apps over the last few years the conversations around trying to find that special someone has brought us new terms like ‘toxic relationship’, ‘the ick’ and ‘red flags’.
Perhaps it’s also down to more openness about our mental health within society, but whatever the reason people are sharing their dating experiences unlike ever before which is allowing us to identify unhealthy trends that arise when people hook up.
Red flags – just like you see in motor racing – are cause for concern when it comes to your dating life. They might constitute your date talking about their ex too much, being rude to servers, love bombing you, talking too much about politics or even trauma dumping.
In this piece we are going to delve into each red flag and examine it in more detail so you can do your best to avoid them in the big bad world of dating.
Talking About Their Ex – Ex Obsessed
Now here’s a really common one. You’re getting on really well with your date, gazing into their eyes and starting to imagine a relationship together. You’re even thinking about suggesting ordering food.
Then an innocuous question about their last partner turns into a five-minute monologue about the pros and cons of their most recent other half. You try changing the subject, actually suggest starters and then go for a toilet break but nothing can stop them talking about their ex.
So this is a red flag because it indicates that your date may not be over their former lover and might bring that baggage into a potential new relationship with you. They may still even be in contact with their ex or god forbid still be sleeping with them.
Solid advice is always not to talk about your ex too much on a first date and in general not going over your previous relationships is good practice with a new partner. Avoiding the subject entirely is also a potential red flag, so try to give a concise response without bringing too much emotion into it.
Being Rude to Servers – None Negotiable
This is something people shouldn’t do on dates or in any environment to be honest, but we’ve included it here as being rude to servers can be a tell-tale sign of someone who could be disrespectful to you in a relationship.
Perhaps your date is hugely successful in their line of work, but they don’t make eye contact with the waitress who greets you and takes you to your table. This could be followed by complaints about the level of service (even though you think it has been fine) and an insistence on not paying a tip.
When dating you have great insight into how your potential partner treats others and how they converse, approach and even show body language towards waiting staff who are serving them can be hugely revealing about their character.
Love Bombing – The Flattery Trap
Love bombing is a really dangerous way of having your heart broken by someone pretty quickly. The term explains a type of emotional abuse that starts off with grand gestures or overtly strong language to manipulate another person.
Examples of love bombing include being complimented excessively and immediately on your first date together, spending too much time together too soon and constant gifting. You might also find yourself texting, emailing and being called by a new flame many times a day, being asked to spend time with them rather than your friends or family or notice that they are mirroring your interests or offering an artificial interest in your background, life or hobbies. They might also be pushing you to take things in your relationship to the next level quickly by getting physical or intimate before you are ready.
The purpose of love bombing is to make you feel appreciated so you are more receptive to your date and their desires. At its worst it is an attempt to ensure future emotional and physical intimacy while setting you up for long-term manipulation and abuse. Sound awful? Well if your new partner seems too good to be true then proceed with caution, as the last thing you want is to end up the victim of someone like the Tinder Swindler!
Talking Too Much About Politics – No Middle Ground
Another trait that is relevant to regular life as well as dating – talking too much about politics can be a definite red flag for a potential partner. Whilst we aren’t advising you to avoid discussing the subject entirely, it makes sense to side-step the whole political landscape debate when you first meet someone.
We know it might be impossible to go a few hours with someone in close company without at least mentioning Joe Biden or Donald Trump and finding out their political leanings is a natural part of getting to know someone better – it may even save you time in the long run. But do proceed with caution, especially after a few drinks.
Trauma Dumping – Emotional Baggage
Trauma dumping is where someone unloads their traumatic experiences onto others without warning or invitation. It can often be done to seek validation, attention or sympathy – consciously or unconsciously.
In the dating game there may be some initial relief from the party who dumps their trauma on the other person – perhaps they are used to sharing intimate details of their life with someone – but it can be particularly detrimental to the recipient.
It can damage the prospect of a potential relationship and even lead to anxiety, depression or other mental health conditions. It may be important to disclose certain details to a new date, but you must do it carefully to avoid a catastrophe.
An Actual Red Flag – Turn and Run
We know that everyone can come unstuck in the minefield of dating – especially when drinking is involved – so while it is smart to look out for red flags when searching for a significant other it’s important not to write people off too early or harshly.
We can all be hypocrites at times and it can be difficult to know for example how much is too much when it comes to talking about an ex if you are just trying to be transparent about your history.
This piece is meant for fun so get out there and enjoy dating life – we hope you just get green flags in return!
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